Meet me half way on the route that beholds my shadow. Spin me around under the tree to give it life. Walk with me through the forests to the cliffs beyond to watch the sunset. Count the number of scars beneath the layers of skin that I am entangled in while we lie staring at the stars. Stare into my eyes while I search for peace in the waves that are too cold to embrace. Try to catch me if I come running towards you on the seashore. Remember my last touch before I go too deep into the ocean of love.
It’s okay to not be alright at 5 am and have nobody around you. It’s okay to find all your cushions useless because you find it impossible to cry and let them comfort you. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to stop breathing for a few seconds to tell yourself that it will soon be over and it is also okay to close your eyes for hours and live in a delusion. It is okay to accept that you are an individual with no authority of any sort. It is okay to spend an hour crying under the shower. It is okay to throw away your favourite shirt and regret it later on and it is okay to delete your favourite memory from the laptop. You know what’s not okay? The fact that you want to live in an oblivion and pretend to be strong enough. It is not okay to deny your fears and your insecurities. It is not okay to keep on telling yourself to not cry because you will be embarrassed. What isn’t okay is that you let yourself down in your own eyes because you are not being honest to yourself. Being sensitive, insecure and hurt will make you weak in front of others but when the time comes you will be the strongest one because you won’t have the the fear of getting embarrassed in front of those who don’t matter.
My heart sinks deep within itself every time i see her eyes glitter and her lips reach up to her eyes when the sun finally adores her skin. I envy her when she laughs and runs after her favorite butterfly and isn’t scared of falling or going back home with an injured knee. I take a step back each time to protect those quite invincible wings when she wants to feel like she is the strongest woman in the entire world. I shudder at the thought of her growing up and following my lead because someday she too is going to step back in fear. In fear of not letting those wings made out of glass shatter and let her little angel take the lead.
Some of us live in the moment. We tend to enjoy our lives more than the realistic people out there but we forget that the moment never lasts and ends with a strong wave that takes everything along with it and leaves you with nothing but destruction. Then comes the moment when we give rise to a new being with lesser flaws and be it’s protection against those beautifully volatile waves.