Forever lost… 


    It’s the chaos that keeps her from owning the unscathed skin that keeps on calling for attention. She crossed the seas and travelled all the way up to the mountain peaks just to see beyond the curtains of clouds. Trying not to stumble over some rock she tried to reach for the curtains, but lost her balance just like she did a few years ago before she finally gave up. However, this time she managed to unveil the exaggerated lies behind the sleek curtains of truth. 

  This time the realities had hit harder than the ground covered with lies. Blinded by the vague stories she could still see through the cracks between the shattered glass that seemed to be intact and invincible to others. Her absence in all these years had created an illusion and had cast a spell which blackened out the spaces between the glass fragments. She tried to seek comfort in people who were already living an oblivious life, but she had no energy to shatter the subtle realities. 

  At times you have to step out into the cold just to give the firewood some space to calm down even if that requires you to come back to the flakes of ash of what was once a part of you. She lost to the fire once again. The chaos ignited a new spark which left her no option but to travel back to the depth of the sea in quest of peace just like she had done before and get lost amidst the waves of flatters and beautiful lies.

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It’s okay!

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      It’s okay to not be alright at 5 am and have nobody around you. It’s okay to find all your cushions useless because you find it impossible to cry and let them comfort you. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to stop breathing for a few seconds to tell yourself that it will soon be over and it is also okay to close your eyes for hours and live in a delusion. It is okay to accept that you are an individual with no authority of any sort. It is okay to spend an hour crying under the shower. It is okay to throw away your favourite shirt and regret it later on and it is okay to delete your favourite memory from the laptop. You know what’s not okay? The fact that you want to live in an oblivion and pretend to be strong enough. It is not okay to deny your fears and your insecurities. It is not okay to keep on telling yourself to not cry because you will be embarrassed. What isn’t okay is that you let yourself down in your own eyes because you are not being honest to yourself. Being sensitive, insecure and hurt will make you weak in front of others but when the time comes you will be the strongest one because you won’t have the the fear of getting embarrassed in front of those who don’t matter.